Friday, January 6, 2012

2012

I want to make a difference this year. I want to break out of my comfort zone and be uncomfortable; to soar at greater heights; to learn new things and teach them to others; to make a difference in people's lives - a positive impact.

Here's to 2012...

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Dear Little Blog,

It's nice to know I've somewhere to turn to when I don't know where to go.

I wonder if I've been too much of a problem lately as I find it hard to come to conclusions as to what to do with this life of mine. There are some things (abundant of them) which I know I cannot control, which no matter how hard I try, they're like unmovable mountains. Should I just stop and give up moving them?

Then there are some which are within my control. These are those that I consciously know I can overcome yet fail to un-complicate. And perhaps you, little blog, are the best person to hear this out as whatever I say will never affect your emotions.

It's come to  a decision point, yet again. The uncharted waters I have chosen yet the direction of the sails have I yet to anchor. Please help me through this journey of uncertainty.

With love,
Me

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

My dream...

... is to be happy always...

Expectations Pt 1

When I was growing up....

Lately I just enrolled in a Professional Facial Treatment Course and very often we get our skin analysed. The thing about skin analysis is we cannot hide anything. Our past gets exposed for all our habits could be revealed through the marks on our skin. 

For example, I used to be very stressed out and I had breakouts around my forehead near the temple, as well as on the jawline. When my therapist told me that, I was brought back to my past and those dreadful stressful days... It is becoming a very emotional process as I remember those times when I did not do well in studies and how humiliating it was because all the other students (esp teachers' kids) were getting into the top 10 positions in class. I hated those days because I felt so bad about myself and I was not worthy.

I remember once I was rank 32th in class out of I think about 35 students and the smart kids got top 10. And my mom and grandma were so upset with me. Once I got 17th place and was so happy for it was the highest I ever got! Came home, excitedly told my grandma and she said it was nothing to be proud of. 

Hence I chose to  go to the Arts stream in Form 4 for there was no competition there. I was always top 2 in class. Same happened in Form 6 all the way to my university days. 

Today, after the skin analysis, I feel terrible about the days of my youth. Miserable and stressful. When my therapist said, "Relax, you don't have to be the best in everything," and it surely left a mark and kept my thoughts on a roll...